...and when it is your husband, that just rocks the world. I know that we are really alwyas proud of our other half (that really is a truism...he knows me so well)but he is an actor as well and actor types get critical of each other...even when they love them. (The joke that is SOO true...How many actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 100...1 to do the job and 99 others to say they could have done it better).
Neither Bob nor I was cast in Virginia Woolf. I was so proud of him and wished the director had read him more. I wish that I had enough guts to stand up and ask if he would read us together...would have been fun.
I got the best rejection letter that II have ever had from an audtion. It made me feel like maybe I'm not so bad and do have some clue as to what I am doing acting wise. The best part...Bob has been bragging to friends about my good rejection. He even told me he was proud of me the night of audtions...as I was of him.
Bob and I both are really starting to get the bug again...I think that means we both have something to say.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
I Auditioned...
...and it felt so good! Emerald City Players had auditions for "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" last night and today. I had been enhcouraging Bob to audition. I think he would be great for the part...he needs to back on the horse...(he is a wonderful actor and hasn't audtioned for anything since he had to drop out of a show 5 years ago)...and I wanted hin to go for it.
Bob is an actor who loves the audtion process. He loves the immediacy of it, he loves the energy, the competitivness, the whole shebang...he just loves it. I, on the other hand, do not. I always feel like I am not giving enough or making connections with the other person auditioning...in general, I always worry that I am not pleasing someone enough. Acting...life...huh...not so much so differant.
On the way to auditions, Bob asked me if I was going to read. I really didn't know until I got into auditions. Martha is a part that I have always wanted to play but don't really think many people would cast me in. I'm small and she is bigger than life.
There were audition forms...I filled one out...I read. I don't think I did too bad...okay...I did really good. At least I went for it...I may have been over the top but I got to say her words at least once in front of people. I went for broke in my inappropriate outfit of saddle shoes and overalls...it just felt so good to be doing this strange thing that I have a passion for.
My Bobert did a tremendous read and I am so proud of him. He is scared of the lines..and George has a shitload. Having done the play so many years ago, I know George is such a hard roll for an actor. I know he can do this and I thought that he was the best person that night.
I wish that the director would have read Bob and I together. I wasn't real clear where he was going with auditions but that is his call and I don't have to know.
On the way home, we were talking and Bob said he didn't want to be cast and I really can't do the show...well, I could if work would cooperate. I think we both want to be cast and I want to do it with my husband. I think we could handle it.
More than anything...I want him to be cast. He would be tremendous and it is a role that he would have to work at. I think he's ready.
I am just glad I got to say the words out loud.
Bob is an actor who loves the audtion process. He loves the immediacy of it, he loves the energy, the competitivness, the whole shebang...he just loves it. I, on the other hand, do not. I always feel like I am not giving enough or making connections with the other person auditioning...in general, I always worry that I am not pleasing someone enough. Acting...life...huh...not so much so differant.
On the way to auditions, Bob asked me if I was going to read. I really didn't know until I got into auditions. Martha is a part that I have always wanted to play but don't really think many people would cast me in. I'm small and she is bigger than life.
There were audition forms...I filled one out...I read. I don't think I did too bad...okay...I did really good. At least I went for it...I may have been over the top but I got to say her words at least once in front of people. I went for broke in my inappropriate outfit of saddle shoes and overalls...it just felt so good to be doing this strange thing that I have a passion for.
My Bobert did a tremendous read and I am so proud of him. He is scared of the lines..and George has a shitload. Having done the play so many years ago, I know George is such a hard roll for an actor. I know he can do this and I thought that he was the best person that night.
I wish that the director would have read Bob and I together. I wasn't real clear where he was going with auditions but that is his call and I don't have to know.
On the way home, we were talking and Bob said he didn't want to be cast and I really can't do the show...well, I could if work would cooperate. I think we both want to be cast and I want to do it with my husband. I think we could handle it.
More than anything...I want him to be cast. He would be tremendous and it is a role that he would have to work at. I think he's ready.
I am just glad I got to say the words out loud.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
A Tribute to Ohio State Football Championships...
How long have you and Bob been married? It is a question I have been asked (often)and I would think hard and the answer would be be "UMMMM....I don't know"...cause I didn't. I know the day that we got married (November 16) but not so much the year.
So here is the tribute to Ohio State Football.
We were married in the home of our friends, Tom and Kris. They have a beautiful, gracious Victorian with a foyer at the bottom of a grand staircase (where we held the ceremony) and the guests started arriving. The OSU-Illinois game was on TV and they were watching. I was waiting upstairs and could here the cheering...all the ooohs and ahhhs and nooos and yeahs. There is a knock at the door of the room I am in and my stand up Connie comes up to say the game went into overtime...okay a little postponing...it was maybe 6:15. I don't know football...how long can this last? (It was my wedding day....I forgot TV football time). Connie back upstairs to tell me the game went into a second overtime...I could hear the much louder OOOH!..YEAH!.. much clapping and cheering and everyone is having a great time and I am looking at the clock and it is now 6:45 and I am getting a little nervous because I am a little superstitious and was concerned about being married on the upswing of the clock. (In case you didn't know, it supposed to be bad luck to get married on the downswing.
The Ohio State Buckeyes did their job...and our ceremony started at about 6:50. It was a lovely ceremony and I can just picture it in my mind's eye...so much warmth and happiness and people we love around us.
Bob and Bruce were talking and we finally figured out that we got married in 2001 because that game was part of the undefeated season and the Buckeyes won the Big One in 2002. We've been married longer than we thought or would have guessed. I think that's a good thing.
Here is my tribute to Jim Tresell...thank you for the upswing. Apparently you are a great motivator...at least in my mind.
So here is the tribute to Ohio State Football.
We were married in the home of our friends, Tom and Kris. They have a beautiful, gracious Victorian with a foyer at the bottom of a grand staircase (where we held the ceremony) and the guests started arriving. The OSU-Illinois game was on TV and they were watching. I was waiting upstairs and could here the cheering...all the ooohs and ahhhs and nooos and yeahs. There is a knock at the door of the room I am in and my stand up Connie comes up to say the game went into overtime...okay a little postponing...it was maybe 6:15. I don't know football...how long can this last? (It was my wedding day....I forgot TV football time). Connie back upstairs to tell me the game went into a second overtime...I could hear the much louder OOOH!..YEAH!.. much clapping and cheering and everyone is having a great time and I am looking at the clock and it is now 6:45 and I am getting a little nervous because I am a little superstitious and was concerned about being married on the upswing of the clock. (In case you didn't know, it supposed to be bad luck to get married on the downswing.
The Ohio State Buckeyes did their job...and our ceremony started at about 6:50. It was a lovely ceremony and I can just picture it in my mind's eye...so much warmth and happiness and people we love around us.
Bob and Bruce were talking and we finally figured out that we got married in 2001 because that game was part of the undefeated season and the Buckeyes won the Big One in 2002. We've been married longer than we thought or would have guessed. I think that's a good thing.
Here is my tribute to Jim Tresell...thank you for the upswing. Apparently you are a great motivator...at least in my mind.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I'm Really Special...
...so I can do things the way I want. This unfortunately was the credo of the day in Chicoland and was hurled at me by one of my co-workers.
We have a Friends and Family event that starts tomorrow and there were to be no pre-sales...nothing was to be rung until tomorrow. Of course, my co-worker was the exception to the rule. She asks if the Friends and Family discount can be applied to her customer today (of course she asks in FRONT of the customer after she had rung everything in) and I tell her that the discount doesn't start until tomorrow. She tells me she cleared it with our new store manager and I didn't think fast enough to call Gwen (the new SM) and ask. The sale was over $2300!!!! In honor of MAPS, we applied the discount and I seethed. The customer thanked me sweetly and then proceeded to tell me how her dog Bow was being so generous and good to her by buying her all these lovely things. Yes, indeedy, you did read that correctly. I complimented her on a lovely ring she had on today and she told me that Buttons (her other Bichon) had bought it for her. She talks like this all the time and quite frankly, it just really creeps me out. These kinds of comments are only charming if a) you are 90something years old b) three years old or c) seem to be missing some of the playing pieces on your upstairs gameboard. She would be none of the above. This woman is an aging trust fund baby (yeah for her...and I do mean that honestly) who is a spoiled princess. I swear to God this woman could out Blanche Blanche DuBois! She has elderly friends (who are also our customers) who came to pick up boxes for her when she moved. FOR SIX MONTHS!!! She called to make sure that we held the boxes but never picked them up herself...even though she was in the store numerous times and we told her we had boxes. She told us the other people would pick them up. I am not sure if I mad at her for not picking them up because she apparently is too precious and delicate for such tasks...mad at the elderly couple for coming numerous times to collect the boxes...or just envious that someone can be that manipulative of people (let's face it...it's a gift that should only be used for good) and then pissed off that I feel that way!
So yes...another rant from Chicoland. I was pissed because I got backed into a corner (although a GIANT step for me...I did tell my co-worker I was pissed...told her why...and watched her backpeddle all over herself because she knew she was being false in what she was telling me)...but the bottom line is...tomorrow, when I talk to Gwen (who's mantra is to follow the rules), she will probably be unhappy with me and possibly chew my butt a little. I don't blame her. I am pissed at myself for not being stronger in the situation but I am pissed at my co worker for taking advantage of the situation and in sense me.
I am tired of people not playing nice in the sandbox and I really hate when the other kids pee on my shoes.
At least, I had my Doc boots on today. They are pretty pee proff and let me tromp at least a little.
We have a Friends and Family event that starts tomorrow and there were to be no pre-sales...nothing was to be rung until tomorrow. Of course, my co-worker was the exception to the rule. She asks if the Friends and Family discount can be applied to her customer today (of course she asks in FRONT of the customer after she had rung everything in) and I tell her that the discount doesn't start until tomorrow. She tells me she cleared it with our new store manager and I didn't think fast enough to call Gwen (the new SM) and ask. The sale was over $2300!!!! In honor of MAPS, we applied the discount and I seethed. The customer thanked me sweetly and then proceeded to tell me how her dog Bow was being so generous and good to her by buying her all these lovely things. Yes, indeedy, you did read that correctly. I complimented her on a lovely ring she had on today and she told me that Buttons (her other Bichon) had bought it for her. She talks like this all the time and quite frankly, it just really creeps me out. These kinds of comments are only charming if a) you are 90something years old b) three years old or c) seem to be missing some of the playing pieces on your upstairs gameboard. She would be none of the above. This woman is an aging trust fund baby (yeah for her...and I do mean that honestly) who is a spoiled princess. I swear to God this woman could out Blanche Blanche DuBois! She has elderly friends (who are also our customers) who came to pick up boxes for her when she moved. FOR SIX MONTHS!!! She called to make sure that we held the boxes but never picked them up herself...even though she was in the store numerous times and we told her we had boxes. She told us the other people would pick them up. I am not sure if I mad at her for not picking them up because she apparently is too precious and delicate for such tasks...mad at the elderly couple for coming numerous times to collect the boxes...or just envious that someone can be that manipulative of people (let's face it...it's a gift that should only be used for good) and then pissed off that I feel that way!
So yes...another rant from Chicoland. I was pissed because I got backed into a corner (although a GIANT step for me...I did tell my co-worker I was pissed...told her why...and watched her backpeddle all over herself because she knew she was being false in what she was telling me)...but the bottom line is...tomorrow, when I talk to Gwen (who's mantra is to follow the rules), she will probably be unhappy with me and possibly chew my butt a little. I don't blame her. I am pissed at myself for not being stronger in the situation but I am pissed at my co worker for taking advantage of the situation and in sense me.
I am tired of people not playing nice in the sandbox and I really hate when the other kids pee on my shoes.
At least, I had my Doc boots on today. They are pretty pee proff and let me tromp at least a little.
Monday, October 20, 2008
A Love Letter...
...to my husband. He probably will never read this because every time he has read this little missive his response is "I already knew that."
I came across a picture of Bob that I had taken when we lived in Delaware and he was sitting on the porch. The picture is blurry and not the best but to me it is everything that he is and everything that I treasure about him.
I love his openness and innocence and wonder at everything...but it is coupled with a grown up awareness. He has an integrity that just emanates from him. He always tries to do his best and very near to all times does. He rolls with the punches.
He is a realist...he is a dreamer. Sometimes I see those things clash within him...and now I understand why he was a Philosophy major. Oh, those little epiphanies of life.
He worries more than he would wish and probably doesn't think that I know that about him...and understand because I chew on everything and he gets that about me.
He chastises himself about his bad habits and tries to correct them and frequently does...he is so much better at taking care of himself than I am...and he worries about me because I don't so much take good care of myself. I have a tendency to be a candle at both ends. It bothers me that I worry him.
I admire and love his tenacity.
He is such a brother to his friends...and I am glad that he found his Twin Brother of Different Mother, John. They understand each so well.
He has the best laugh and is not afraid to share it. I love that I tickle him by talking into his neck and he hates it and loves it at the same time. Hates that it tickles, hates that it is annoying and he laughs anyway, even while pushing me away.
He is a man in the moment...and he has left places abruptly leaving people to ask and ponder "What about Bob?" I always thought it one of his charming quirks...but could be upsetting to others...even insulting. He has know thought to include the goodbye portion of the program...being in the moment does not always mean deference to social graces...but he knows himself and we should all take a lesson on when to leave from the master.
I thank whatever fate in my life that brought us together. Neither one of us has an idea of how long we have been married...I do believe it is in the five or year six year range...but we know our anniversary day...November 16. (We had to postpone our ceremony slightly because our guests were watching Ohio State play whoever in a championship season and it went into two (I think) overtimes...anyone who knows me would know how ironic that is)...if you know the game and year...let me know how long we've been married.
To steal from Joni Mitchell:
He's a singer in the park
He's a walker in the rain, he's a dancer in the dark.
My old man, keeping away my blues.
He's my sunshine in the morning,
He's my fireworks at the end of the day.
He's the warmest chord I ever heard...
Thank you, Joni Mitchell...how I love that man of mine.
My world rocks because of him.
I came across a picture of Bob that I had taken when we lived in Delaware and he was sitting on the porch. The picture is blurry and not the best but to me it is everything that he is and everything that I treasure about him.
I love his openness and innocence and wonder at everything...but it is coupled with a grown up awareness. He has an integrity that just emanates from him. He always tries to do his best and very near to all times does. He rolls with the punches.
He is a realist...he is a dreamer. Sometimes I see those things clash within him...and now I understand why he was a Philosophy major. Oh, those little epiphanies of life.
He worries more than he would wish and probably doesn't think that I know that about him...and understand because I chew on everything and he gets that about me.
He chastises himself about his bad habits and tries to correct them and frequently does...he is so much better at taking care of himself than I am...and he worries about me because I don't so much take good care of myself. I have a tendency to be a candle at both ends. It bothers me that I worry him.
I admire and love his tenacity.
He is such a brother to his friends...and I am glad that he found his Twin Brother of Different Mother, John. They understand each so well.
He has the best laugh and is not afraid to share it. I love that I tickle him by talking into his neck and he hates it and loves it at the same time. Hates that it tickles, hates that it is annoying and he laughs anyway, even while pushing me away.
He is a man in the moment...and he has left places abruptly leaving people to ask and ponder "What about Bob?" I always thought it one of his charming quirks...but could be upsetting to others...even insulting. He has know thought to include the goodbye portion of the program...being in the moment does not always mean deference to social graces...but he knows himself and we should all take a lesson on when to leave from the master.
I thank whatever fate in my life that brought us together. Neither one of us has an idea of how long we have been married...I do believe it is in the five or year six year range...but we know our anniversary day...November 16. (We had to postpone our ceremony slightly because our guests were watching Ohio State play whoever in a championship season and it went into two (I think) overtimes...anyone who knows me would know how ironic that is)...if you know the game and year...let me know how long we've been married.
To steal from Joni Mitchell:
He's a singer in the park
He's a walker in the rain, he's a dancer in the dark.
My old man, keeping away my blues.
He's my sunshine in the morning,
He's my fireworks at the end of the day.
He's the warmest chord I ever heard...
Thank you, Joni Mitchell...how I love that man of mine.
My world rocks because of him.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Am I Doing Something Nice....
...the right reasons? Do you ever wonder that when you put yourself out of your way for a work colleague? I do...but of course I question and doubt myself at least 85% of the time on any given day so why would this surprise me?
Our new store manager started this week and she seems very nice and a good fit for us. She seems to have a very positive attitude and definitely is used to being at the top of her rankings in any company that she has been with previously. I get the feeling she will expect that from us and the store but doesn't seem like she will kill us to make that happen.
The good thing I offered and am doing...tomorrow begins my vacation but I am going in to do markdowns. It could be a big bunch of markdowns but I am going to be doing them with Gerri and I know we can get them done in a couple of hours. Gerri is like the supreme worker bee on speed. That woman could probably get the whole store marked down and placed by herself in three hours....and we don't have hand scanners...so we are talking a LOT of touching and hauling of clothes.
ANYWAY...the reason that I had said that I would come in and do the markdowns was because there didn't seem to be anyone else because we also are supposed to move the store around tomorrow. Fine and good but did make me feel a little cranky that I of course was feeling responsible and guilty at the same time....blahblahblah.
Gwen (our new SM) called to say she was running late because of a phone call and lost track of time and was on her cellphone, on her way (she is a Chatty Cathy which I can appreciate and relate to but is a trait that will drive a couple of our ladies crazy). In the short conversation we had she bubbled out that she had gotten tickets months ago to the Cincinnati football game, they were expensive, she was going to take her grandson who is 12, and she was late because the phone call entailed trying to find someone to take the tickets because she was going to be working tomorrow. I talked to Karen, we looked at the schedule, and called Gwen back to say "Don't do anything with the tickets". When she got to the store, I told her that I would work until mid afternoon which would give us the same floor coverage if she had been here and that she should take her grandson to the game. She seemed a little surprised at the offer but happy about it.
Phrases that made my mind up..."tickets bought months ago"..."my grandson". When she told me he was 12, all I could think of was Cory's relationship with my Dad at that age and all the stuff my Dad did with him. The fact that she was taking her 12 year old grandson to a football game...and that he was cool with going to a football game with his Grandma and was upset when she had to tell him they couldn't go...well, that cinched it for me. The grandparent/grandchild relationship is really important and I want her to have that before her grandson gets to be 14 and turns into a teenager...God only knows where boys minds go between the ages of 14 and 20...but they don't often think of grandparents.
So I did a good thing by being in the store a couple of more hours tomorrow.
Here is the query/quandary? Did I do a good thing to be nice or was I sucking up...or just worried that it looks like sucking up? I know the answer and it is about appearances...and really how it appears to only one co-worker...and that is because I have seen her applying a whole lot of Chapstick this week.
Meow.
Our new store manager started this week and she seems very nice and a good fit for us. She seems to have a very positive attitude and definitely is used to being at the top of her rankings in any company that she has been with previously. I get the feeling she will expect that from us and the store but doesn't seem like she will kill us to make that happen.
The good thing I offered and am doing...tomorrow begins my vacation but I am going in to do markdowns. It could be a big bunch of markdowns but I am going to be doing them with Gerri and I know we can get them done in a couple of hours. Gerri is like the supreme worker bee on speed. That woman could probably get the whole store marked down and placed by herself in three hours....and we don't have hand scanners...so we are talking a LOT of touching and hauling of clothes.
ANYWAY...the reason that I had said that I would come in and do the markdowns was because there didn't seem to be anyone else because we also are supposed to move the store around tomorrow. Fine and good but did make me feel a little cranky that I of course was feeling responsible and guilty at the same time....blahblahblah.
Gwen (our new SM) called to say she was running late because of a phone call and lost track of time and was on her cellphone, on her way (she is a Chatty Cathy which I can appreciate and relate to but is a trait that will drive a couple of our ladies crazy). In the short conversation we had she bubbled out that she had gotten tickets months ago to the Cincinnati football game, they were expensive, she was going to take her grandson who is 12, and she was late because the phone call entailed trying to find someone to take the tickets because she was going to be working tomorrow. I talked to Karen, we looked at the schedule, and called Gwen back to say "Don't do anything with the tickets". When she got to the store, I told her that I would work until mid afternoon which would give us the same floor coverage if she had been here and that she should take her grandson to the game. She seemed a little surprised at the offer but happy about it.
Phrases that made my mind up..."tickets bought months ago"..."my grandson". When she told me he was 12, all I could think of was Cory's relationship with my Dad at that age and all the stuff my Dad did with him. The fact that she was taking her 12 year old grandson to a football game...and that he was cool with going to a football game with his Grandma and was upset when she had to tell him they couldn't go...well, that cinched it for me. The grandparent/grandchild relationship is really important and I want her to have that before her grandson gets to be 14 and turns into a teenager...God only knows where boys minds go between the ages of 14 and 20...but they don't often think of grandparents.
So I did a good thing by being in the store a couple of more hours tomorrow.
Here is the query/quandary? Did I do a good thing to be nice or was I sucking up...or just worried that it looks like sucking up? I know the answer and it is about appearances...and really how it appears to only one co-worker...and that is because I have seen her applying a whole lot of Chapstick this week.
Meow.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Happiness Runs...
...and it did tonight. Friends came over, lawn chairs in tow, food packed and ready to share...and John was cooking steaks. We were on the patio until the skeeters got too bad and we moved inside. The food was fabulous and nothing is better than steak and summer salad dishes on paper plates eaten with plastic silverware and a side of great conversation.
We all moved out to the Tree house and eventually turned off the lights and were lit by the brilliant moon. We all got so silly. We were making shadow puppets on the wall and singing Simon and Garfunkel and some other spontaneously stupid song that we cannot remember what the heck it was but everyone was singing and we were laughing until our stomachs hurt. It was brilliant. Bob thought was that turning off the lights makes everyone free...to be stupid and childlike and just be okay to be you.
It was an evening to savor and love for the connections and the moments and just because everyone was IN THE MOMENT...it just seemed an affirmation of the good people and things in our lives...in my and Bob's lives. We were with family.
I wish you all the best for the coming week. Rock your world and love the people in it.
We all moved out to the Tree house and eventually turned off the lights and were lit by the brilliant moon. We all got so silly. We were making shadow puppets on the wall and singing Simon and Garfunkel and some other spontaneously stupid song that we cannot remember what the heck it was but everyone was singing and we were laughing until our stomachs hurt. It was brilliant. Bob thought was that turning off the lights makes everyone free...to be stupid and childlike and just be okay to be you.
It was an evening to savor and love for the connections and the moments and just because everyone was IN THE MOMENT...it just seemed an affirmation of the good people and things in our lives...in my and Bob's lives. We were with family.
I wish you all the best for the coming week. Rock your world and love the people in it.
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