Tomorrow...

...could be interesting.
Evelyn's been in assisted  living  since late June. 
We cleaned out her apartment. Hard and weird. Some of her furniture is living in our garage.  If she knew that...would appall her.  it' s Henredon. Good stuff sitting in our garage.
About tomorrow...Bob wants to bring her to our house. 
I have said ...No...not a good idea...for so many reasons. 
He's operating out of Guilt. I think he feels he's been neglectful to her.
if he brings her to our house tomorrow...I'm out of our house til she's out of our house. 
kNOW bOb IS TRYING TO THE RIGHT THING....
BRINGING HER TO OUR HOUSE AIN'T IT.
i DON''T THINK SHE COULD MAKE IT UP THE STAIRS ...OR OUT TO A CHAIR.

It didn't occur to me...

...until yesterday...when my husband told me he read my blog...that maybe other people did too.  
First off...he reads my blog? Did gobsmack me.
We had to post pictures to our profile page on BOSS...the corporate system. Mandatory. Do have to say Joyce and I had fun getting a good one of me. We laughed our butts off.
I'm not so photogenic.
Years ago I worked on a video project for a student at OSU...Cinda Ehman was the director. Don't remember what degree it was towards...just remember that it was a big deal for her...a REAL BIG DEAL.
Shot the video at the Ohio Penitentiary over three months...
Memories from the shoot...
Bill Potter and I did not do well going down steps while saying dialogue well. Jay's words: "You call that acting?" Up the stairs...and down. Again...again...again...again.
I am not good at opening doors and entering a room. Have to say that most of the rooms that I entered from were small really stinky disgusting bathrooms. Entrance do over...again...again...again.
My favorite words in the setting up of a shot. The videographer...looking through his lens at me..."Oh God no. We can't shoot her straight on. Whoa!" Yes Mama...I am a pretty girl.
Learned to sing harmony on Going to the Chaple with Bill and Sheila. We had some times much time between shots and had it nailed.
Bill and I went into the infirmary building ...and it totally creeped me out...mostly the top floor. Could just feel stuff...didn't want to be there. Overwhelming.
In the chapel...on the wall...there was the most mesmerizing painting of a dark skinned Jesus with azure eyes.  It was serene and disturbing at the same time.
I got cast kind of by accident. Don't remember quite how...but it was by accident.
When I was 29 going on 30...I got a little sad. What happened to my dreams? What happened to all the big things I was going to do?
When I took stock...
I wanted to be an actor...and I was. I was fortunate to be cast more often than not...and worked with great inspirational people.
I wanted to get paid to be an actor...did a couple of murder mysteries and got paid. Ta Da!
I wanted to be in a movie. I think shooting at the Ohio Pen for three months counts...and I was the lead.
The dreams I had...the things I wanted to accomplish? I had done them. Perhaps not on as grand a scale as I had once dreamed of...but accomplished none the less.
And yes...occasionally I "Thank the Academy" while moving the store around.
We are nothing without hope and dreams.

I never thought...

...that anyone would ever read what I wrote on my little page in the hyperspace of the internet.
Gobsmacked today that my husband reads my blog.
He told me I was being mean about my boss...took me back.
She's feeling overwhelmed at the moment. I get that. Frustrating for me...things I can figure out how to make happen...I can't bring to completion...because I'm a peon. I'm management...but not when it accounts for anything.
I've interviewed and hired people in the past...as an assistant manager. Two great...one not so much. At the time I feel Joyce left it up to me. Background...our store manager was out on disability for six months. Joyce and I were at the store whole lot. She had Mom stuff to deal with. We did what we needed to do.
What I miss...feeling like a team with Joyce.

A friend told me....

..while talking about my desire to audition for "Streetcar" that she saw Blanche as a big woman...she wasn't really talking stature...she couldn't explain it. I think she was talking about presence of energy. Her comment was "You would have to find a differant take on the role". My comment was "I would be the tiny little moth flinging itself at the light bulb".

That is how I see Blanche.

Auditions are in August. She sits in the back of my head.