Saturday, June 10, 2017

Well...

...I haven't been here in awhile. 
Obviously the Font wants me to announce myself...
...and find a quieter way.

Well...

Well...

Friday, December 23, 2016

bitch.

....swear it's going to be my next tattoo. Teeny tiny little typewriter script. It will remind me not to be one.
Evelyn has dementia...but she has been used to being catered to. She comes to our house and camps.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Saturday, July 16, 2016

This morning...

...I had a meltdown.
It was triggered by the morning phone call from Evelyn. I was still in bed...mostly awake. Bob needed her key. It was in my purse...men don't get purses. Easier for me to go and find...but I went from emotional zero to sixty REAL fast. Know that throws Bob for a loop...me too.
He's got a raised clipped tone of voice...which to me can sound sarcastic...condescending...angry.  I guess the interpretation is how I choose to deal with it.
Today I couldn't. I didn't like his tone of voice with me. It felt angry and condescending.
I blew...loudly..
Do not talk to me in that tone of voice...and then fell apart crying..
What I told him through tears is that I worry about Evelyn everyday...pretty much once an hour.
I hate my job. Not accurate...what I hate is I don't feel like I'm taking care of anything well outside of my job. I don't feel like I'm doing great about my job either.
Our new DM? My insecure tapes have kicked in.
Bottom line is I realized I had a small panic attack today.
The first one I remember? During the coverage of President Kennedy's assassination...the week long coverage...afraid to go to sleep and can still remember feeling...upset and jittery. I was seven.
College...afraid to go to sleep. Showed up on Mario's doorstep completely panicked.
Took me off guard but at least I recognized.