Playing Nice with the Other Kids...

I hated my job today and I really didn't like myself so much while I was doing it.

Our company's stock is not doing very well right now so "they" are tightening things up...the controllables. This theorectically is a good thing. One of the fixes is the hangers that we give away. We usually give out the really nice hangers that we use in the store. Previously, we had gone to "give away" hangers...thick plastic things that our customers didn't like....they wanted the good stuff. So after complaint calls (which is a no-no in Chicoland), we ditched the give away hangers...literally. Our store alone THREW OUT at least five boxes. (Do the math...we have over five hundred stores). We went back to giving away the good hangers...to the tune of (I swear I read this in an e-mail) $3.12 million. So now we are back to the ugly hangers and there will be calls AGAIN...and happiness will reign throughout the land.

We are also on a two-two-two schedule...which means that there are two people covering the floor on any given shift. Theorectically, another sound practice...except we are trained in "MAPS" (Most Amazing Personal Service)and do our best to deliver and our customers expect it. If there are five or six customers in the store and only two of us...once again do the math. There are people to attend to and counsel with, find stuff for, cashier, clean out dressing rooms, rehang the clothes and put them away, all the while giving "her" the best shopping experience she has ever had. (In between all of this fun, there are markdowns to be done and windows to be changed and whatever other stuff can be thought up to boost the bottom line). I do think someone at headquarters watched that damn "Enjoli" comnercial from the late seventies one too many times..."I can bring home the bacon...fry it up in a pan"...blahblahblah.

I value compassion and being nice, or as I refer to it...playing nice with the other kids. We should all try to that even if we haven't had our naps. Today I so felt like I just wanted to scream at people..."You don't need that! You don't even want that and you're just going to bring it back along with pants you spilled bleach on and you will call defective because they have spots on them (HAPPENED...REALLY!!!) Those pants are way too tight and your ass looks like a barn (even though you want me to tell otherwise) and some stuff you just ain't gonna find here even though you want us to so you can use (and we will) your expired 50% coupon from December 2007because you have it in your hand." I usually can deal with this on a daily basis in a fairly rational and pleasant manner....at least I hope so.

Today, not so much. We had a woman in the store carrying an armload of clothes. Each of us approached her and asked if she needed a dressing room and we were all rebuffed...sternly. She finally goes into a room and there were at least 12 other customers in the store...once again, today's theme...do the math. When she left after buying one item (cool...that's all she wanted) Mary called me over to the dressing room she had used. All three rods had at least 10 hangers with stuff on them and on the floor was a pile a foot and half high...the important point of this sentence is ON THE FLOOR. Not on the bench, ON THE FLOOR.

I felt incensed. It may be irrational. I know I work in a service industry and that is my job... to wait and serve. I truly do want people to come in our store and feel good and be happy when they leave, whether they have purchased something or not. We do our best to be respectful to our customers and of them. Why can't our customers do the same for us? It is not the majority of people who are like this and it does seem to run in streams...

This week, we in Chicoland know what it is to be salmon.

Time Changes Everything...

Bob and I got to be home together today in the middle of the week...what a lovely treat.

We now have a lawn mower of our very own. We bought it ...it's ours. I know that probably doesn't seem like such a big deal to the homeowners out there but it's all about perspective. Bob has taken over the lawn care (and we will get a break on rent in the summer) so hence the purchase. Buying a lawnmower makes me feel like a grown up....they are something that your parents bought. The lawnmowers we have used at our previous residences were left by previous residents or provided by landlords. I swear the last one was held together by duct tape and rope. I couldn't start it unless I held the start thingy, stood on the lawnmower and jumped backwards really far and fast.

Bob mowed and I pulled out ivy. We have a nice patio out back with pretty trees and a spot that was landscaped at some point in time but the ivy has just overtaken all. Working in a garden is something that I am warming up to basically because I really don't like to get dirty. Didn't like it as a kid and still don't...but I'm learning.

Our last project of the day was going to be painting our new to us wicker furniture. We bought a set from one of the ladies that I work with and Bob wanted it to be Hunter Green. We washed the furniture, let it dry in the sun and took aim with the spray paint only to find we have six cans of defective paint. It sprayed for a minute and then dribbled down the side of the can. We'll be finishing the chairs another day.

Here is the real point...my nostalgia epiphany of the day. I went for a walk down our street and passed an apartment that was exactly the same as the one that Mario and I lived in when we first married many moons ago. (There are about three sets of these buildings scattered throughout Grandview on differant streets.) The apartment was empty so I looked in the window. I was amazed. It was SOOO TINY... yet at the time we lived in that apartment it seemed huge to me.

...but it was huge then. It held my world and the people I loved most at the time. My son began his life there...I had a best friend that I shared coffee with almost everyday while our kids took naps...my Mom wallpapered the kitchen for me when I GREAT with child (I can still remember the really pretty brown, cream and turquoise floral paper...sounds gross but it wasn't). So much life held in such a small space.

I haven't seen or talked to Mario in years...and after so many years, I really can't remember what went wrong with us. It just did and neither one of us had the energy...or the inclination...to fix it. We were just kids...

I see young couples in the grocery store with their children and it just gobsmacks me. They just look so young. I wonder if that's how Mario, Cory and I looked to people our age then....and yes, we did. We just didn't have all the tattoos and piercings but probably looked just as alien...and just as hopeful.

The hopefulness I felt all those years ago still continues...that was my epiphany. I have a man in my life who is challenging, compassionate, loving and so many things that I can't even pull the words forth...I have friends I love and who love me back and like me MOST of the time...I still have dreams...and hope that those dreams will come true.

Dream big. A space can't stop dreams...only an outlook.

Happiness Runs..

...and I am not sure where to start. I had a good day and an ordinary day...but a lovely day.

I had to work today from 3 - 6:30. Midday to close on a SUNDAY!!! (In my opinion, no one should be working on Sundays...it just seems wrong.)...but I worked with the people I would've picked to spend that time with...and it was fun. Maybe more should have been done, but I am opening so I I'll be mad at myself tomorrow.

I came home to dinner being going made. Jamaican Jerk Chicken...all kinds of lovely smells...cooked by John (my husband's twin brother born of a differant mother) and my husband. Just wonderful. We set the table and the Vince Guaraldi Trio was playing in the background...(the "Good Grief, Charlie Brown" CD ... it has the Charlie Brown theme.. which does make you want to do the Snoopy dance.)

I love being around Bob and his best "peeps"...I know that is such a stupid word, but I love it anyway. It is comforting to watch them interact...they are all such strong personalities and such different men....but so complimentary to each each other without any extra thought or effort. They just are with each other. I am priveleged to have them in my life. Tney make me feel safe.

I always ask this question of others...What was the best thing that happened to you today? There ALWAYS is a best thing...you may have to look, but there ALWAYS is.

My best thing is coming back home after making a beer run and smell of cinnamon and all the Jamican jerk aromatics wafting up oour stairway along with the voices of people I love.

"is this Heaven?"
"No..it's my house.
(Stealing from "Field of Dreams"]

Find the best in each day and dance at least one time this week in your underwear to really loud music...even if you think somebody is WATCHING. They probably aren't paying attention.

....DAMN THEM!!!