I Forgot How Much...

I love making costumes. A friend from work is going to a conference and a costume party with theme is involved. It is a required event at the conference and you have to have a costume to get into the party. (She works for Highlights for Children magazine) and was bemoaning to me one night at closing how much she hated the whole costume thing and had no idea what she was going to do and I piped up and said I would make her a costume. (Being an actor, I really don't quite understand that someone wouldn't jump at the chance to put on a costume.) The theme of the party is Enchanted Forest. We decided (well, basically me...but she agreed) that Morgan Le Fay would be a great character and Toni was happy.

Today I was off and it was my day to go shopping for costume materials. Since I said that I would do this for her, I have been in a tiny little internal panic. I haven't made any sort of costume for years and my internal mantra was quietly roaring into "What was I thinking???".

I used to do a lot of costuming for community theater and always loved it. Community theaters never have big budgets and most of the time you are wearing your own clothes onstaage or finding your own stuff. I just always loved the challenge of doing something workable on the ultimate cheap...explains a lot about the way I dress.

I found what I needed today at Half Off Everything Day at my favorite thrift store and went home...I felt more engaged in a process than I can remember feeling in a while. I started sewing and loved it. I had made a sketch and what I actually have started to put together looks like what I had in my mind and put down on paper.

I feel like I am having a "Damn, I am so cool moment!" and that is not at all what I mean to be about. What I am really getting at is how joyful being creative made me feel...the fact that I get to do something for a friend is extra wonderful.

I feel like I have been alseep in so many areas of my life because I have let work take over everything. No, I don't think that is probably correct. I just get afraid to try stuff and do stuff...even stuff I used to know how to do.

So here I am looking at a costume that I have made and that I hope Toni will love and feel great and beautiful in and wonder...

What the hell happened and where did I go?