Auditions...

...have been posted by the local theater companies. I have ignored them until recently. I miss acting. I miss the process...and I never thought I had a process but in coaching John...apparently I do.

In coaching John for "Inherit the Wind" it made me realize how I work as an actor. I have never really understood my process...that's not true. I work from the inside out. There has to be something in that character I recognize in myself....something I have to say. I wasn't trying to push that on John...he is always a man of questions...just wanting to help him embrace his virgin acting experience and know that it does MEAN something. You are making a connection. It matters.

I did "The Heidi Chronicles" years ago (played Heidi) and remember driving to the theater on opening night and just beginning to cry uncontroulibly My husband at the tine was cool about it ...knew me so well...it was what I needed. When we got to the theater, another of the actresses was on the floor in the bathroom with an icepack her nose...she got stress nosebleeds. Yes, we do suffer for art.

I am lucky to have done parts that have changed my life...have changed me. I found these women I played at the time I needed to play them. The parts I played have pushed me forward...helped me grow.

There is an audition coming up for "Streetcar Named Desire"...I know I'm too old and not pretty enough...but I KNOW Blanche. I had auditioned for the role once before...wasn't cast and it was a blessing. Could not have emotionally handled it.

I just want to audition...to prove to myself I still have my chops...still have my
nerve (I hate auditions)...

Still have something to say and willing to make my self heard