RuPaul Makes Me Smile

Here we are on the cusp of a New Year. I am sitting in my little sun/computer/sewing room, sun smiling over my shouldar typing away. Disco music is blaring in the background because our neighbor is out of town so we can be obnoxiously loud with the music. RuPaul is calling for the Supermodels of the World to "Sashay!Chan-tay!" It just is a song that makes you smile...partly because the man is just so beautiful in makeup and it's just such a dumb song.

This time of year always makes me a little melancholy. It is such a spiritual time of year to me. I don't necessarily mean spiritual in the religious sense of the word, but the spirituality that everyone has...it's hard to explain and I am not sure that I even can. I just know that it exists, and I believe it to be the best part of everyone...that little shining core. I get melancholy because I wonder if I expose that best part of myself enough...maybe I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" too many times, but sometimes I wonder if I do make a differance in my little part of the world.

Ten Things I have Learned About Myself this Past Year...
1. I REALLY miss acting. Thank you, Mikey and Di, for reawakening that passion. You allowed me to feel fearless for a few brief shining moments.
2. I drink too much and smoke too much and it should bother me a lot more than it does.
3. I think that I have an inner wild child (please see #2) and if I were seventeen I would have pitch black hair, a pierced nose, tattoos and wear all black...okay so two out of the four I already have/do and I am thinking about the pierced nose....just a tiny little stud...barely noticeable.
4. I can take charge and do a good job.
5. I question whether I do a good job on a daily basis and convince myself on a daily basis that I probably don't.
6. I have a really screwed up body image and have no idea of how other people really see me...but do any of us?
7. I really do believe that people are basically good.
8. The bad things that happen in the world scare the crap out of me...partly because Cory lives so far away.
9. Nobody really pays as much attention to us as we think they do...so it's okay to dance and sing whenever you want...it makes the people who do notice smile.
10. I bless the Heavens everyday for bringing Bob into my life. I love his laugh, his integrity, his innocence, his strength, his basic "Bobness"...how I love that man of mine...now if I could only get him to believe that I really don't hide his clothes.

I hope that this upcoming year brings you everything you can imagine for yourself and your heart's contentment. Thank you for reading my little missives and your responses.

God Bless Us All, EVERY ONE!