My Son Came Home...

Funny how quickly time passes...this time last week my child was in the air and on the way to Columbus from Portland, Oregon. It had been two and half years since I had seen him. We can't afford to fly there which means we can't afford to fly him here.

He got dropped off at the store by a friend on Sunday, slightly hungover and jetlagged, and the ladies at work said I just lite up like a candle when he came through the door. My first thought at seeing him was how much he looked like his Dad. It was like I had nothing genetically to do with this person. We do want to see that physical likeness in our children because somehow it just makes us seem more connected. To have him in my arms was bliss. I hugged him so tight and what was lovely was that he hugged back just as tightly.

The time on the visit passed too quickly as any visit like this does. He wanted to see friends in town but did make time for us. It was strange...this is my child, but this is an adult man...my child has grown up. It somehow catches you off guard.

He showed me pictures of his friends and alot of them are married couples. I mentioned that to him and he said it was strange to him that people he hangs out with are turning thirty and having kids and buying homes. It is the nature of the beast...we do want to make homes and make families. It was a little surreal, like seeing your life in playback. I was pregnant with him this same season.

Katie, who he has been seeing for a year, also came home with him. He went to high school with her and reconnected out in Portland...the Grandview Band of Gypsies seem to think Portland is a cool place. So many of the people that Cory knew from high school live there now and that's his home away from home family. I didn't get to spend much time with her but she is lovely. I think she gives my son a run for his money in all the best ways and she loves him alot. I could see that.

It was so hard to let him go home. I kept thinking to myself "Don't go!Don't go!" ...but of course he had to. That's what kids are supposed to do...move on and have lives and experiences and do the same things we did.

It made me wonder if it was hard for my parents to let me go. To me, it was just life. I got married and moved and had experiences and probably didn't think about them as much as I should have. I guess I somehow inadvertantly left them behind...just like my child. It is history repeating.

I think what this has made me realize is that my parents had a whole life seperate from me...when I was in their house, living there it involved me. When I moved, they did stuff I never knew about...still do and it drives my sister crazy. Bob and I have a life that Cory doesn't really know about just as he has a life and friends and has made a "family" for himself where his home is now.

I told him, and it's true, he is the best thing that ever happened to me. He laughed becuase I always cry when I tell him that...but it's true. He was a place in me that no one else will ever be and because of that he just KNOWS sutff that no one else will ever know about me...a connection. I think women with children will understand....each of your kids was in a differant place, and has a differant part of you and your history.

Bottom line...I am so proud of the gentle lion my child has become.

My arms have felt empty but I know he's happy. What more can I ask!